I Threw My Razor Away!
by Alexandra Windsong, August, 2011
© 2011 Alexandra Windsong, All Rights Reserved

Earlier this summer, as we were sorting through all of the old stuff in the medicine cabinet in preparation for hanging a new one, I came across my razor, abandoned in the back of the medicine cabinet. As I picked it up, I looked at Brandon and said, "Well, I guess I won't be needing this anymore," and threw it in the trash can.

Like many women, I hate to shave and often during the winter months, I don't. I mean, hey, who's going to see my legs and armpits anyway? Well besides Brandon, but he really doesn't care. So this past winter, like many winters before, I enjoyed the luxury of not shaving anything. And you know what? I was fine with it. My hairy legs and armpits didn't bother me one little bit. As a matter of fact, I didn't give it a second thought all winter long.

Then one day toward the end of winter, I looked down at my hairy legs and thought, Maybe I won't shave this summer either. Oh happy thought! Now when I say I hate to shave, I mean I really hate it. It's time consuming, and apart from the fact that once you start doing it, you have to keep doing it every couple of days, or you're dealing with prickly razor stubble, my skin breaks out in those oh so attractive and uncomfortable razor bumps so many women are familiar with. Hmmm, not a fan. And frankly, for many years, I had resented the hell out of having to shave in order to be viewed as "presentable". So that was it. I wasn't going to shave any more. Ever.

Then, as spring got closer, and I was faced with the reality of actually walking around in public wearing clothes that would reveal my hairy legs for all to see, I started to be a little less comfortable with the whole idea. I mean, What would people think?

Unfortunately, it seemed I wasn't as comfortable with my decision as I thought I was. Faced with the prospect of public exposure, my resolve to be forever razor free weakened. But I wasn't ready to throw in the towel just yet. Did I mention I hate to shave? I decided on a compromise. Instead of wearing shorts this summer I would wear capris pants. They would be more comfortable than long pants in the summer heat, yet not too revealing. Only a few inches or so of my hairy legs would be exposed, so maybe it wouldn't be so obvious to people that I hadn't shaved them. In other words, maybe no one would notice. At this point, I hadn't even entertained the idea of wearing sleeveless shirts and exposing those hairy armpits; I was going to keep those covered up thank you very much.

Then spring arrived, and I took the plunge. I left the house wearing a pair of capris pants, exposing three to four inches of my unshaven hairy legs for all the world to see. And nobody seemed to notice. Or if they did, at least they weren't pointing and laughing...well, to my face anyway. So I started wearing capris pants regularly, and found that I was pretty comfortable with that, and all was right with the world again. Until it got hotter that is.

As the days grew warmer, I knew that before too long, I was going to need to wear shorts in order to feel comfortable in the heat. And that thought brought on a discomfort of another kind -- people would really see my hairy legs then. There'd be no way they wouldn't notice! Oh my! What would people think? There it was, that damnable thought once again. What...would...people...think?

So I started thinking about it. As I saw it, I had a choice, I was either going to have to get comfortable with people seeing my hairy legs, or start shaving again as wearing long pants all summer was completely unthinkable. I decided to think about it some more.

On the one hand, I was comfortable with not shaving -- as long as no one else could see my hairy legs that is. On the other hand, when it came to the possibility of others seeing that I hadn't shaved my legs I was obviously a little less comfortable with the whole idea. But really, what did it really matter whether I shaved my legs or not? And why was I so concerned about what other people thought about it? What exactly was the problem here?

Then it hit me, unfortunately, I was still buying into someone else's view of what was acceptable and what was not, and was still concerned about how other people would judge me if I didn't fit the norm, judging myself in the process.  It seemed I was still struggling between my beliefs and the need do to what was right and comfortable for me, and the need to be accepted by the world at large.

In reality, this wasn't really about shaving or not shaving at all. This was about me molding and shaping myself, and in this case my body, to someone else's standards of what was okay and what was not. And I wondered where else in my life that might be happening as well? Where else in my life might I be shaping and molding myself to fit someone else's view of how I should be -- in my appearance, in my thoughts, in my beliefs, and in my attitudes -- in how I live my life itself?

As I thought back to my earliest experiences, it occurred to me that I hadn't even realized there was anything wrong with my body, or anyone else's body for that matter until others kindly brought it to my attention. Whether it was someone's shape or size, the way they dressed, the color of their hair, or whether or not they shaved their legs, it was other people's comments and attitudes and in some instances outright making fun of others that made me painfully aware that there was a "standard of beauty and acceptability" to adhere to. And I bought into it. I didn't mean to. I fought it. But it still managed to wiggle it's way into my subconscious and become buried somewhere in the depths of my mind.

Shave your legs or not, wear makeup or not, wear a certain kind of clothes, choose a particular career or lifestyle . . . it doesn't really matter what you do with your body and your life, it's the why that matters. If you do it for you, because you like it, it's what you want, or it makes you happy, then I say "Hurray! Good for you!" But, if you do it when you don't want to, in order to fit in, to be "acceptable"� , if you shape and mold yourself to someone else's vision of who or how you should be, then I say, "Maybe you should think about it some more."

As for myself...I decided not to be a victim of someone else's standards, attitudes and beliefs any longer. I threw the razor away because I hate to shave. I also decided not to hide those hairy legs and yes, those hairy armpits because I shouldn't have to. It's my body. It's how it naturally is. There's nothing wrong with it.

It turned out throwing my razor away was really about taking a stand for myself and affirming that I no longer choose to be a prisoner to someone else's ideas of how I should live my life, even in something as simple as whether or not to shave my legs and armpits.

Now I'm not going to lie to you, sometimes I do feel a little self-conscious when I'm out in public with those hairy legs and armpits exposed for all the world to see, because changing that internal programming doesn't happen overnight. But, for the most part, I really don't think about it much anymore. And yes, occasionally people do stare, but I remind myself on those rare occasions when they do or I feel a little self-conscious, that my choice is about me, and what I want -- to be comfortable in my own skin and live my life according to my standards and beliefs, not someone else's. It doesn't really matter what other people think. And besides...I've discovered that those hairy legs make a great early warning detection system for ticks and other creepy crawlies. ;-)

Alexandra Windsong is a Healer, Intuitive, Life Coach, Meditation Facilitator and Flower Essence Practitioner at The Healing Way in Frederick, MD. She is also a singer, songwriter and drum circle facilitator. For more information about Alexandra Windsong, click here.

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© 2011, Alexandra Windsong, All Rights Reserved